refined

i'm not fine,
but at least, refined.
Something beautiful in my mind -
i'm not done, but already gone -
finding
the one true word
in the fallen leaves
searching
for one true world
to remit the grieves.

i'm the princess of fail and the queen
of mistaken steps,
i don't know how to live,
what to do, to reduce the mess
that i've done when i was, you know, like, already gone.
what i missed when i thought that i
could successfully run.

I'm so sorry, my dear God, for just being me;
i'm so little, so faded, so old that you couldn't see;
i'm the queen of mistaken steps
and the princess of stress.
i don't know what i've ever done
to deserve this mess.